Braces: 1 month

Today was not a great day and it started off with a 9am appointment at the orthodontist. This was my four week check-in but really all they did was change my rubber bands, I actually keep the same wire for quite awhile they said. The poor girl that was changing my mouth, I bet she had a bad day too after she saw me.

First she asked how things were going and I was honest. I really don’t think that I should have to say “fine” when things are NOT fine. I’m not going to pretend this is a walk-in-the-park. I told her I hate them and my mouth still hurts. Cue the pity.

She told me she was going to change the rubber bands and darn it all, the one hurt like the bi*ch! She pulled so freakin’ hard that the bracket CAME OFF. Yes, I’m pretty sure I yelled shit, but that’s better than an F-bomb! I said, “What was THAT!?” And she said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I pulled off a bracket.”

It honestly felt like she pulled out one of my teeth. Now listen, I’ve gone through three vaginal labors, multiple cavity drillings (recently), and I’ve had my cheeks poked with needles. This hurt SOO much worse than that. Crap, then we had to get through the rest of my mouth.

I told the actual orthodontist that I couldn’t bite into anything and the slightest pressure is still hugely painful, she said it’s not totally unusual and should stop in another month or so. Wow, I must have extremely sensitive teeth, this is just not cool. So the girl went back to changing the bottom rubber bands and that’s when the tears started rolling down my cheeks. Honest-to-God pain— and I couldn’t pull away or nothing.

I made it through and had to tell my kids why I was all blubbery and red-eyed and promised Charlotte that hers wouldn’t hurt as bad as mine. I tried to be strong but just could not hold onto this one. I never thought I’d be 35 and crying at the ortho office. It brings back awful memories of my ortho from many, many years ago. I remember leaving that damn place with a smiley balloon and a handful of alligator tears.

How long will you wear them?

I asked about that and she said their initial guess was 18 months. Wait. Hold the phone. 18 months?! I do NOT remember hearing that. My teeth are moving a lot which is great, but I told her to stop and just not guess at how long it will be. I don’t want to know if it’s longer than my tiny brain imagined.

So that’s your update. Tears for month one.